that's how i feel. i think i am going to tell my rents im gay.

see, they want me to join the airforce...but i don't want to and they dont get that. they dont really care either. they still feel the need to run my life, even tho they kicked me out. i dont get it. and i dont want this to happen. the only way i can think of getting out of the airforce is if i tell them im gay, since everyone knows the military wont accept gay people.

but im scared. im just not sure how they will react. i mean, i know they will freak out but i dont know how extreme it's gonna be and im scared that they wont let me see my little sisters. i think these things because my mom has suspected that im gay for a long time and so one day when she brought it up (after i denied it of course) i asked her what she would do if i were gay. she said she would cry. and that made me cry. oh god im crying right now. ugh. the worst part is is i dont know what to say. im scared. and i have no one here to support me. this would be sooooo much better i think if i had a friend here. and yes, i do know a lot of people here (at school) but they aren't my friends yet...like i haven't known any of them long enough to consider them my friends...only acquaintances. if that makes sense. i need you guys. you know who you are. why the fuck cant teleportation be possible? so if you are one of the people i am talking about please please PLEASE call me or text me asap. i need to talk to all of you. otherwise ill prob call you. it's that important. i just needed to get it all out right here.